Pete's Story

Pete shares how he worked with FearFree to stop his abusive behaviour

Pete had been with his partner for over 20 years and they had two children together. He came to FearFree after reading about domestic abuse and recognising that he was displaying some of these behaviours himself.

He was struggling with anxiety and the pressure of feeling that he had to ensure his family were provided for had led to him becoming controlling around finances. As well as this he had belittled his partner and used sexual pressuring and intimidating behaviour. He was ashamed and although he was worried about his relationship breaking down, he knew the time had come to get help.

"Admitting I needed help was one of the lowest points I had, but looking back it's one of the best things I have done"

Pete came to FearFree for support and took part in group sessions which led him to realise that his behaviour was scaring his family.  Through a mixture of role plays, breathing techniques and mindfulness tools he learnt to recognise and react to the signs of anger in his body.


“I’ve learnt techniques to deal my feelings, to avoid 'taking them out' on others. It’s changed how I react to everything”

As the course progressed, Pete become aware of his reactions at home and was able to remain calm in difficult situations. He also went to his GP and was given anti-anxiety medication which helped him feel more relaxed.  He spoke to family members about the abuse, and we supported him to have an open, age-appropriate conversation with his children. Near the end date of the course, Pete and his wife decided to separate, and he decided to stay on the course for longer.  Pete has now moved into his own house and has arranged to see his children regularly.

If you are stuggling with abusive behaviour, we can help you. Contact us here 

“I relate to my ex-partner better and my relationship with my children is the best it’s ever been - we communicate more openly than we’ve ever done, and it’s drawn us closely together. I’m happier in myself than I think I’ve ever been because I’ve learnt to be open and honest about what’s going on with me”

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